The black telephone's off at the root,

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 05:57:30 GMT

moving moving moving moving
her_bare_feet
so come with.

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 23:30:11 GMT

firstly,
me and hosanna will have the best matching tattoos ever...

secondly,
i really am excited about the new season of GLADIATORS. truly.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 06:54:36 GMT

I’m being nostalgic and listening to The Sound of White by Missy Higgins.

I’m looking at art by Kirsten Ferrel because her gratuitous imagery pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

I’m thinking about spines and skin and cracks.

And I think I’m being nervous and paranoid…I KNOW I am, but I’m not sure how else to be, I am still very new at this.

I’m having an artificial escapist Parisian fantasy wearing the huge, black bling ring, soft colourful scarf and perfume my sister sent me from Paris.

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:39:19 GMT

today is a day of dropped/lost/forgotten things
i deferred my uni courses and took out my vertical nipple piercing.
both decisions were in my best interests.
but one made me kinda happy/relieved and the other made me sad/feel naked.
i want the pretty new bras/panties/stockings i brought yesterday but i left thema t hosannas
i want my sunnies but i left thema t the train station
i want lots of things.
like a job.
truly.
blahqawruohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:08:47 GMT

i'm in a...mood. not a bad mood, just a nothing-is-going-my-way mood.
my phone is being silly so i can't call the person i want to see today.
it's really hot and my nose started bleeding.
i shut my finger in a door.
maybe i should just go back to bed?
can't sleep becuse it's super hot and my tatts are in the OH MY GOD I'M SO ITCHY I WANT TO CHEW MY LEGS OFF TO STOP THE ITHCHING
stage.
i'd paint my nails but my male aprent is home to complain about the smell.
*sigh*
oh, and my mothers mad at me.
for something i see as not a real issue.
grrrrr.
but, im still not in a bad mood.
i just want SOMETHING to go right today.
anything?
anything at all?
maybe.................
at least.....i ahve a pink frypan?

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 07:54:21 GMT

A woman made a man
A man he made a house
And when they lay together
Little creatures all come out

this year, started so perfect and shiny and new.
and i have never been more content with the person i am.
i feel.
i am.

elation.

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:08:09 GMT

my year 12 results come out tomorrow.
yes, i am freaking the fuck out.
On a nicer note, i'm having my tattoos coloured friday. yay.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 08:00:03 GMT

i am going to scrath the skin off my bones.
god my tattoos itch.
(my papaer journal is full of pictures, newspaper clippings and things i;ve found on the ground. i still can;t manage words.)

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 22:35:09 GMT

I’m lazy

I’m tired

I feel completely disappointed in myself.

I feel…mediocre. I never wanted to be average.

I like my new hair a lot.

i feel slightly angry at all the people who said I could achieve so much more if I tried, because clearly I tried and….became average.

feel

filthy.

god damn I’m in a bad mood.

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:38:06 GMT

i took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart

i am

i am

i am.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 08:04:22 GMT

so...
i have a place to live in melbourne, got into uni accomidation, now i just need to get into a course, should know in the next couple of weeks. god, i never throught i'd have to stress this hard again, only this time it's all totally out of my control.
thankfully i haven't started to look back and regret everything.
thankfully.
my tatts are doing fine and dandy.
sadly my home life could not be said to have the same fineness.
ironic that my accomidation offer came today.
feels like...shit. i can;t explain it. it just does. take my word for it.
on a more pleasant note...

tea parties are the best thing ever.
ever.
seriously.

just make a pot of chai in my nice big teapot, retro glass, honey, cupcakes, turkish delight, sit in the garden, indulge.
feels nice.
lay in the sun and read the unbearable lightness of being.

mmm, yes. being does feel unbearably light right now.
light
unbearably
light.

narcissistic

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:04:17 GMT

they're beautiful
and big.
bigger than you think :)
and
so
fucking
beautiful
i can't stop looking at myself.

i had my tattoos outlined yesterday.
big
thick
black
lines.
two huge stylised magnolias on my upper thighs/hips.
bit over A4.
didn;t take very long, maybe 45 minutes each side?
hurt....alot.
the fact that they don't hurt now lulls me into the idea that maybe it wasn;t that painful.
but it was so so so good.
apaprently i handle pain brilliantly.
i laughed.
but secretly i am very proud of how i handled it.

THEY
JUST
LOOK
SO
GOOD.
REALLY.

i am very very very exceptionally happy right now.

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 08:34:02 GMT

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:00:36 GMT

i hate it that i so willingly put up with this.

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:19:01 GMT

things that make me happy:

new shiny shiny holes in face :)

i finally finally finished school. exams. graduated. all done. all over. lookin sexy.

it all makes me feel like this. happy. i LIKE being happy.

i have uni interveiws at 4:00 tomorrow in melbourne. these are veyr very importent and i'm rather terrified and excited.
finally, everythings working out.
finally.

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 03:28:11 GMT

a note to my body:
NO I AM NO GOING TO HAVE MY PERIOD SO STOP FUCKING GETTING ALL EMOTIONAL AND PMSY.
IT'S JUST NOT HAPPENING.
SO STOP IT.
NOW!
thankyou for being so understanding. i promise to have a bath and cover you with nice mouisteriser to help you cope with all this stress.
love from my brain.

i am so fucking tense its crazy. just can't relax, at all. i've been walking 45 minutes to an hour every day sicne school ended, the last two days ive walked for and hour and a half and i still can't exhaust myself enough to relax. now it's too hot to walk during the day so im going crazy here. study for an hour, stress for two. study some more.
fuck.
this really is just so silly.

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 10:32:23 GMT

dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads dreads
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
excited
that is all.

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:46:21 GMT

well.
i've had a messy week.
and it's only tuesday.
turns out my interview for monash fine art is next thursday. FUCK. i thought i ahd so much more time than that.
turns out i didn't realise i needed to put in an extra application thingy for RMIT so i don't even get an interview for there, so if i dont get into monash, i have to stay here.
plus my male parent is.....beyond belief. just....it's just beyond me why he wold think it was ok to treat me like this, how he could ever even imagine that hes a good parent.
i despise him so utterly that the sight of him has begun to make me physically SICK.
really.
i don't care what it takes anymore, really.
i just need to get FUCK out of this house.
i just can't cope here anymore.
on a lighter note....
i'm getting dreads.
so much joy.
so so so much joy.
and i can get my tatts super soon.
begining with some lovely flowers to cover my scars.
oh yes.
so, the wonderful and the revolting dance hand in hand and i feel so nervouse about yme xams that it's like having a bad hangover and really bad PMS at the same time.
so there.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:56:11 GMT

because retail therapy alwaysworks.

and becuse my kitty is cute and only sleeps on my bed when i'm stressed. meow. sooo fuzzy.
and becuse there's something i'm really excited about. and can;t tell anyone.
it makes me feel special.
heheheee

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:11:07 GMT

so i did my english exam.
it didn't feel good but that's okay becuse suzanne maintains the unfailing belief that i did perfectly, so i feel better.
i;ve been drinking ridiculus amounts of tea.
(it's okay, less caffine than coffe, so i can drink more!)
i have jap tomorrow.
possibly the exams im most scared about.
so
off
i
go
to study. (with tea)

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 10:25:28 GMT

the land of misfit toys

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 09:52:08 GMT

I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep

i really am beginning to dislike deadlines for art and other things.
oh fuck i have an eglish exam monday
so expect me to speak only in poetry from now.

i took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart
i am
i am
i am.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:52:55 GMT

Susan Culver

AFTER THE TORNADO

We couldn't stop staring at the sky; how the stars seemed to list as we listed, as though they, too, had lost their teacups, their beds. You tilted your head, closed an eye. Covered the moon with your thumb because we all needed something to extinguish, someone to blame.

After the tornado, we walked for miles. Past the shredded fields, the shredded stores. We walked as if bound for our Elysian, our Avalon. We walked on without looking back, fearing too simply the taste of salt on our lips.

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 03:00:45 GMT

has anyone else ever noticed that swans and teapots are much the same shape?
...
the plot thickens....

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:36:10 GMT

happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.
suzanne is right (duh.) it will alll be okay. it is all okay. indeedy.